The best replacement for retarded is mentally challenged.

The best alternatives to retarded are rated as following:
★★★★★  mentally challenged
★★★★  retarded
★★★  stupid
★★★  mentally ill
★★  down syndrome
★★  disabled
★★  autism
★★  autistic
★  intellectually disabled
★  mentally handicapped
★  retarted
  dumb
  let's get it started
  developmentally disabled
  learning disabled

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