The best replacement for fem is fem.

The best alternatives to fem are rated as following:
★★★★★  fem
★★★★  stud
★★★★  fdtd
★★★  fdm
★★★  fvm
★★★  fea
★★  butch
★★  veet
★  masc french
★  bem
★  mom
★  cmaa
★  masc
  reg
  mas

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Speaking about fem, one probably shouldn't forget about fem.

Other search terms related to fem and their ratings are:
★★★★★ fem
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Google Trends

Scale is based on the average worldwide traffic of fem in all years. Click on graph for more.
fem
fem
stud