The best replacement for colonel is kernel.

The best alternatives to colonel are rated as following:
★★★★★  kernel
★★★★★  general
★★★  captain
★★★  major
★★★  colonel
★★★  sergeant
★★  protoman
★★  lieutenant
★★  general higher
★★  lieutenant colonel
★  major higher rank
★  captain which is higher
★  commander which is higher
★  lt colonel
★  brigadier general
★  brigadier
★  commander
  coronel
  major higher
  corporal
  captain higher rank
  team protoman
  ronald
  full bird colonel

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