The best replacement for if statement is php.

The best alternatives to if statement are rated as following:
★★★★★  php
★★★★★  excel
★★★★  matlab
★★★  bash
★★★  case statement
★★  vba
★★  while loop
★★  objective c
★★  operator java
★  switch statement
★  vbscript
★  ternary operator
★  try catch
★  unix
★  switch c#
★  select case
★  in java
★  for loop
  excel vba
  switch
  case

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Speaking about if statement, one probably shouldn't forget about vlookup.

Other search terms related to if statement and their ratings are:
★★★★★ vlookup
★ two conditions
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if statement
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